pulp.

i grind my teeth dream. anything. in between a fraction of an inch. incisor. labels marked. apathy. robotic. looming beaded doll eyes with pupils that sway to and fro. paisley couch. serenade. middle room. childhood. crib. i am. asleep. with a polar bear on top of me and a fat siamese cat named drew to keep me warm.

watch dog. watch cat. i couldn't tell time. or count money. not with you hovering over me. yelling at me. threatening me.

here i am in a foxhole. a coward. an apprentice. i have a gun. it is novel. i have an ear drum. it is shattered. i am a sweaty palm. i am chapped lips in a sneer. i am a fish in a barrel. shoot me.

water is soft and deadly. lovers are too. your voice is an anchor. but i've had one of those before and sometimes they get detached in a gale. your voice. it's a long drive off the highway that soon i won't have to drive anymore. your voice. sometimes i have to block out your voice just so i don't have to listen to it through a tin can and a string.

i get tied up.

it's another year. i asked my tables how they felt about it. they said they didn't know. i said i was apprehensive. it's an odd number. but odd numbers accompany my even age. 26 was good. 27 was a toss up. waving hands in the air and wishing that you could wave them like you just didn't care but really. really?

we'll say bang but at this point i think i need to whimper. i have shiny treasure. i am nostalgic. i am post apocalyptic. i am an economic crisis on the verge of change.

she says she knows a lot about the space program. if i'm not doing this i am a waste of space. i have to develop my own program.

my grandmother is a net. an intrinsically woven canopy of varicose veins and love. she was made this way. by some mystical knitting spider. to trap me catch me comfort me when i lose my balance. which is a sign of my b12 deficiency.

i don't come with a dimmer switch. i am intrinsic in my electrical capabilities. i am on or off. all or nothing. i don't know what sort of spider wove me this way. either way. the floor is sticky from chocolate soy milk.