old lovers and curtains.

i'm writing by candlelight. with the windows open. i hear dogs barking. i see the night calling i close this window. i close this home up to market. i mark it in my calender. real estate is a state. a state my reality exists. its up for grabs. up for sale. renovation. street rock. crack rock. up and down this block. i peddle. i am winded. from this bicycle. peddling up hill. cheap thrills. and beat writers. beats and books. and tonights i played the guitar like i could never when you were here. held me back. like i will fight. hold me back. ms. featherlight. as a. lights as a. lights as a.... stiff as a board. we all float when we hold our breath in wait.

completely incomplete. full stomach energy. everyone loves me but you. because i can't really be myself around you. i think you feel the same. we are symbiotic. i don't pretend to know everything about you. i would have taken the time to learn. but all we have is time. i'm fine with time. time helps us change.

he counts change. i was saving mine to leave.


lucky cat martini. lucky cat. lucky. we are all lucky.
are we lucky. i feel lucky. sometimes lucky.

these lights are lucky. these dumplings in my stomach are lucky.
i am. asleep.

there should be a sign here. always a sign here.

i write in the cove. in this hole. in this.. in this. self medicating niche'. i am a cliche'.

i love to read out loud. i want to read to people my thoughts. and i will.
spoons in a glass. concave. lustful. spoons. spooning.


she leans into the car with whiskey sour on her breath. says she's wanted me since i was 19. and do i remember the time we spooned on that couch. i say i remember. i laugh.

why does attraction feel so demanding all of a sudden.